Naija Story- The Lootitude, Gospel According to Aso Rock

Naija jokes

And seeing the multitudes, corruption went up into Aso Rock; and when he was set, the politicians came unto him;

(2) And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying:

(3) Blessed are the clueless in wisdom; for theirs is the Presidency of the nation.

(4) Blessed are they that rig elections, for they shall be elected.

(5) Blessed are the thieves; for they shall inherit the National Assembly.

(6) Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after public funds; for their accounts shall be filled.

(7) Blessed are the bribe-takers, for they shall obtain bigger bribes.

(8) Blessed are the Petroleum Ministers, for they shall loot trillions.

(9) Blessed are the bootlickers, for they shall be called the Federal Executhief Council.

(10) Blessed are they which are prosecuted for corruption’s sake; for theirs is the kingdom of wealth.

(11) Blessed are ye, when EFCC shall invite you, and interrogate you, and bring all manner of charges against you, for my sake.

(12) Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad; for fat are your accounts in Swiss banks; for so they prosecuted the politicians which were before you.

(13) Ye are the thieves of the nation; but if the thief have lost his craftiness, wherewith shall he be looting? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be charged to court, and be sentenced to prison.

(14) Ye are the liars of the nation, a lie that is carefully thought-out cannot be found out.

(15) Neither do politicians cook a big lie, and serve it to SaharaReporters, but to NTA; and it gives false hope unto all that watch the 9pm news.

(16) Let your gowns so flow before men, that they may see your big loots, and glorify your father which is in Ota.

(17) Think not that I am come to arrest the fuel marketers

(18) For verily I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass, one naira or one kobo shall not be left in the Federation Account, but all will be looted away.

5 comments for “Naija Story- The Lootitude, Gospel According to Aso Rock

  1. Marvy
    October 29, 2015 at 10:05 am

    Na true

  2. Marvy
    October 29, 2015 at 10:05 am


    June 14, 2016 at 5:08 pm


  4. OMO
    November 14, 2016 at 6:38 pm

    u too much when u go publish ur own bible?

  5. November 4, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    abeg,where your church dey?

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