Wife: where the hell are you?
Husband: honey, you remember that gold shop? Where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it..
Wife: (relaxed) yes, my king
Husband: remember i had no cash to buy it for you that day and i said I’ll buy it for you one day..
Wife: (totally relaxed with a smile and a blush) yes i remember my love!
Husband: good, i’m in a barber shop next to that shop!
The Peace & Love of God
After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons.”Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God!” The pastor was thrilled. “No-one has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why.” “Well – it reminded me of the Peace of God because it passed all understanding and the Love of God because it endured forever!”
Walk on Water
One day two Niger Delta guys decided to take a visiting pastor on a fishing on boat. Once in the Middle of the lake, the first guy said” I have forgotten my fishing pole, I’ll be right back” and to the pastors amazement he stepped out of the boat and walked on top of water towards the shore.
When he had returned, the second guy said “I need to use the restroom, I’ll be right back” Again the pastor watched in amazement as he also walked on water. Once the second guy returned, not wanting to be outdone, the pastor wanted to share in the anointing and prove his faith and said ” I need to use the restroom too”. As soon as he stepped out of the boat, he started drowning; he screamed, struggled and got back into the boat. When he had composed himself he stood up and proclaimed “In Jesus name I take authority over this water” and tried again and started drowning again.
The guys looked at each other and said “Should we pity him and tell him where the rocks are “? wicked guys!!
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