E get dis particular restaurant wey i dey chop for wuse. E get one oyibo wey dey always come chop there too. Any time dis oyibo chop finish, him go shout “heey!”, so i wonder wetin dey make am shout. I decide to chop wetin di oyibo dey always chop so maybe me self go shout too. When i reach d restaurant last week friday, I order wetin di man dey chop, dem tell me say na chicken and red wine, so i chop am. I surprise say i no shout, i even collect xtra plate, but i still no shout. Na then i just vex ask 4 my bill. The waiter tell me say one plate of chicken and red wine na N45,000, then d xtra plate na another 45,000 na then i come shout heyyyyyyyyy! heyyyyyyyyy!! heyyyyyyyy!!! heiiiiiiiiiii!!!!… till i reach house i still dey shout..
Love turn sour
Emekas phone rings…
Nkechi: “Baby do you still luv me like before?”
Emeka: “Ofcourse Yes, my luv for you will never change and is never ending.”
Nkechi: “Dats my babyyyy, I want you to buy me somting.”
Emeka: “Just name it, I am more than capable, you know me now, Nky bebe m”.
Nkechi: “Its just one BB porsche sha…”
Emeka: “No problem. Just find out the price and let me know”
Nkechi: “Its 450 000 naira.”
Emeka: “Is it manual or authomatic? Is it still in a good shape, as in, the engine. Have you checked the fuel consumption too?” How many kilometers has it done?
Nkechi: “Honey, its not a car ooo… its a phone.”
Emeka: “Phone? Oh! does it come with a plasma tv, wardrobe and generator?”
Nkechi: “Please be serious, are you buying it or not? ”
Emeka :(in a whisper) “Ewo!”
Nkechi: “Helloooooo! are you still there?”
Nkechi : “What is this, I thought you love me, infact, don’t even bother again. I will call Alhaji to get it for me this evening.”
Emeka: “God purnish ya life , na so your tin sweet reach , not only Allhaji, better still, call Atiku he will be faster”
Nkechi: “Am going to delete you”
Emeka: “Is your fone hanging? Cos I have deleted you since you mentioned porsche. ! Thief, how much is bride price even in ya village sef!