There was a robbery in my neighbour’s house and I called naija police emergency next thing I heard was …
Welcome to Nigeria Police Emergency Center for English press. 1, for Igbo press 2, for Yoruba press 3.
Then I pressed 1, another voice came up….
For car accident press 1, for armed robbery press 2, for boko haram please hang up!
Den I pressed 2 and aanoda voice came up ….
If they’re with knives press 1, pistols press 2, AK 47 press 3, machine guns press 4, bomb press 5, all of the above press 6…Then i checked and saw they were with all of them then I pressed 6
Anoda voice came up sayin…. My brother, if ur brother dey police u go gree make im come? Thunder fire u there!! LWKMD! Naija police no wan die oo!
No be only naija o, Oyibo too no carry last
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller:
Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police. LOL! Ode.
Dispatcher: Nine-one-one. What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!