Akpos and Bad News :LWKMD

Akpos’ elder brother, Tommy, traveled to London months ago, leaving behind Akpos, their aged mom & their pet cat, Kelly. Last week Tommy called from London to know how they’re doing…

TOMMY: Hello brother how are you doing? how’s mom and how is Kelly?

AKPOS: Kelly is Dead!

TOMMY(after a pause): Akpos, bad news is not revealed in that manner. U should have started by saying something like, “Kelly fell

inside a well but neighbors are trying to rescue it”. Then when I call again U tell me, “Kelly broke it’s neck and is receiving treatment”. Then when I call again, U tell me they did their best but couldn’t save it. That’s how to break a bad news in a mature way. OK?

AKPOS: Ok bros, understood.

TOMMY: Ok, so how is Mom?

AKPOS: Bros, Mom fell inside a well, but neighbours are trying to rescue her.

(Phone cuts).Tommy has been admitted in a private hospital in London after going into coma.

Akpos The Hunter

Akpos decided to follow his friend Osas on a hunting trip deep in the forest of Okomu reserve in Iguobazuwa. Akpos has never gone hunting while Osas has hunted all his life. When they got to the middle of the forest, Osas told Akpos to sit by a tree and not make a sound while he checks out an antelope trail.  After he got about a quarter of a mile away, Osas heard a blood-curling scream which scared away nearby antelope. He rushed back to Akpos and yelled; “I think I tell you say make you quiet?”

Akpos replied : “Shuo, I try o, I really try. When green snake waka pass my leg I nor shake body or make peem sound. When gorilla come dey breath hot and smelly smelly air for my face, I nor shake body or make shekele sound. But when two squirrel waka enter my trouser leg, one come tell the other one say, “Chei, see as this two palm kernels big like coconut, we nor go fit chop dem finish for here, so make we pluck and carry dem go home”, naim I come start to halla.

16 comments for “Akpos and Bad News :LWKMD

  1. Nana Asare Ayim Guggisburg
    June 8, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    Akpos , you are my mentor. No bi say mentor as romodel but mentor chewing gum. I like u pass chicken like corn.

  2. Name *
    June 20, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    Chai i lov dis

  3. yaga
    June 26, 2014 at 11:55 am

    ode

  4. Anonymous
    May 3, 2015 at 2:11 am

    Akpos u too much

  5. Tum
    May 7, 2015 at 12:42 am

    Hahaha spare my ribs

  6. Anonymous
    August 4, 2015 at 3:01 am

    kia akpos no be here!

  7. September 9, 2015 at 9:30 pm

    frantically funny….

  8. emmanuel christian
    September 14, 2015 at 12:18 pm

    bros u funny o.I like that ones u do mumu go pursue d antelope

  9. Swizz
    September 22, 2015 at 12:17 pm

    Lol.akpos u too much!!!

  10. Anonymous
    February 21, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    una no fit kill me abeg

  11. theo
    March 18, 2016 at 7:09 pm

    Hw did u get all dis

  12. Anonymous
    March 31, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    lol

  13. Anonymous
    April 8, 2016 at 10:42 pm

    Lol for u akpos keep it up as u dey make every1 happy almighty Allah go dey make all ur family happy.

  14. OMO
    September 12, 2016 at 10:57 am

    Not dat rib crackin I tink akpos needs 2 improve

  15. elijah's girl
    July 9, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    i dn’t lagh esily bt u’v mde me lagh, so funny

  16. Saint Quater.
    July 16, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    I love you Akpos, God bless you.

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